How I dealt with nursing aversion and what to do when breastfeeding makes you angry
How did I deal with my nursing aversion?
Not very well. To be fair: at the time I had no idea that such a thing existed. After I became a CLC, I started following various FaceBook groups and pages around Lactation and Breastfeeding and one of those pages is Breastfeeding Aversion and Agitation Awareness. I saw this video that the author of the website posted and I had an "Ahhhh" moment of "Oh! That's what that was all about".
Put simply: every time my 2 year old went to nurse I wanted to put my head through a wall. Nursing made my skin crawl. Nursing was nails on a chalk board. Nursing was a form of slow torture. And Nursing made me angry.
So how did I deal? I would hit my head with the palm of my hand. I would pinch my forearm. I tried deep breathing. I tried distraction. I tried telling myself that I loved my child and she wasn't using me. I tried EFT tapping. In the end, hitting myself on the head with the palm of my hand was the one that worked.
This was not the lovely picture I had of nursing my child. My breastfeeding relationship until this point was going pretty good. I'd made my breastfeeding goals of: 6 months, 12 months, 18 months, and now 2 years. I loved nursing my child. But I was now 3 months pregnant and wanting to put my head through the wall.
I decided to wean. I thought that this aversion was permanent. Hard to say if I had support whether or not I would have kept nursing. I would like to think that if someone had told me that I was going through a nursing aversion then I would have kept nursing, because at least that would mean I wasn't crazy, or angry, and that I loved my child.
By the time my son was born, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to nurse him. I thought that him latching would fill me with hate and anger.
BUT.
It didn't. Nursing was fine. Just as it was when I first started nursing my daughter.
The trick? Every time my daughter would come near me while I was nursing my son, my skin would crawl. My agitation and anger would bubble. By this point, I finally realized that I had a nursing aversion issue with my daughter, so some deep breathing and telling myself that it was just the aversion talking helped me get through it. I didn't need to put my head through a wall after all.
My son is now nearing 2 years old and I'm ever aware and fearful of another aversion. When I start to feel even a little bit agitated, I set a limit. Be it time, or not at the dinner table, or absolutely NO TWEAKING!
Some suggestions for what to do if you find yourself in the middle of an aversion?
--Dr. Ann Croghan, PT, DPT, CLC, and CAPP-OB Certified
#breastfeeding #nursingsupport #normalizebreastfeeding #realtalk #momlife #nursingadversion #breastfeedingsupport #lactation #lactationsupport #certifiedlactationcounselor #breastfeedinggoals #breastfeedingsupportgroup #nursingsupportgroup #stoptweaking #salida #colorado #VBAC #homebirth #hospitalbirth
Not very well. To be fair: at the time I had no idea that such a thing existed. After I became a CLC, I started following various FaceBook groups and pages around Lactation and Breastfeeding and one of those pages is Breastfeeding Aversion and Agitation Awareness. I saw this video that the author of the website posted and I had an "Ahhhh" moment of "Oh! That's what that was all about".
Put simply: every time my 2 year old went to nurse I wanted to put my head through a wall. Nursing made my skin crawl. Nursing was nails on a chalk board. Nursing was a form of slow torture. And Nursing made me angry.
So how did I deal? I would hit my head with the palm of my hand. I would pinch my forearm. I tried deep breathing. I tried distraction. I tried telling myself that I loved my child and she wasn't using me. I tried EFT tapping. In the end, hitting myself on the head with the palm of my hand was the one that worked.
This was not the lovely picture I had of nursing my child. My breastfeeding relationship until this point was going pretty good. I'd made my breastfeeding goals of: 6 months, 12 months, 18 months, and now 2 years. I loved nursing my child. But I was now 3 months pregnant and wanting to put my head through the wall.
I decided to wean. I thought that this aversion was permanent. Hard to say if I had support whether or not I would have kept nursing. I would like to think that if someone had told me that I was going through a nursing aversion then I would have kept nursing, because at least that would mean I wasn't crazy, or angry, and that I loved my child.
 |
| One day after my son was born |
BUT.
It didn't. Nursing was fine. Just as it was when I first started nursing my daughter.
The trick? Every time my daughter would come near me while I was nursing my son, my skin would crawl. My agitation and anger would bubble. By this point, I finally realized that I had a nursing aversion issue with my daughter, so some deep breathing and telling myself that it was just the aversion talking helped me get through it. I didn't need to put my head through a wall after all.
 |
| I can nurse with my daughter near! |
Some suggestions for what to do if you find yourself in the middle of an aversion?
- Remind yourself that you are an amazing momma.
- You love your child and they are not using you. You are gifting them your milk.
- Find a distraction strategy: EFT, deep breathing, scrolling through FB. (I wouldn't suggest hitting your head with the palm of your hand - that made me feel insane).
- Talk about it. As soon as I started telling my husband how I felt, he helped to distract my daughter so I could get my shit together.
- Set limits. If nursing at the dinner table makes your blood boil, then tell your little no. It's really ok to say no.
- Remind yourself that you are an amazing momma.
 |
| I am an amazing momma |
There isn't much out there on nursing aversions and agitation. But here are some resources I've found through the years. And remember: Megan and I are always here to help. The Local Latch is meant for mommas to find help and resources throughout their ENTIRE nursing journey.
--Dr. Ann Croghan, PT, DPT, CLC, and CAPP-OB Certified
#breastfeeding #nursingsupport #normalizebreastfeeding #realtalk #momlife #nursingadversion #breastfeedingsupport #lactation #lactationsupport #certifiedlactationcounselor #breastfeedinggoals #breastfeedingsupportgroup #nursingsupportgroup #stoptweaking #salida #colorado #VBAC #homebirth #hospitalbirth
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